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Romance scammers build trust with someone they meet online, then use that apparent relationship to seek money, personal information or other valuables. Anyone can be targeted. The official U.S. and U.K. sources cited here do not establish that men are uniquely or disproportionately targeted, so the headline’s gender framing should not be treated as a verified finding.
How a romance scam works
The FBI describes a romance scam as a criminal using a fake online identity to gain affection and trust, then exploiting the relationship to manipulate or steal from the victim. The U.K. Financial Conduct Authority (FCA) describes romance fraud as convincing someone they are in a genuine relationship and deceiving them into sending money. FBI guidance and the FCA’s 2025 review explain these patterns.
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Contact may begin on a dating, social or messaging platform. The person then builds trust, may declare love quickly, and promises to meet but repeatedly gives a reason they cannot. They might claim to be serving in the military, working abroad or dealing with a medical, travel, legal or account emergency. A request for money can follow, sometimes framed as help with an urgent problem or an investment opportunity. The FTC and FBI describe these tactics in their consumer advice, 2024 warning and romance-scam guidance.
Moving the conversation off the original platform or discouraging you from talking to friends and family can make it harder for others to spot the manipulation. A genuine emotional connection does not rule out fraud; trust itself can be part of the scam.
What the available figures show—and don’t show
U.S. and U.K. figures come from different reporting systems and measure different things. They show that reported romance fraud can involve substantial losses, but they cannot be compared as if they count the same population or type of case.
| Source and period | Reported measure | What it represents |
|---|---|---|
| Federal Trade Commission, United States; reports received in 2023, published in 2024 | 64,003 romance-scam reports; $1.14 billion in reported losses; median reported loss of $2,000 per person | Reports and losses reported to the FTC, not a complete count of all fraud. FTC source |
| Financial Conduct Authority, United Kingdom; financial year 2024/2025, reported in 2025 | Romance-fraud reports rose 9%; losses exceeded £106 million | FCA-reported period figures. FCA review |
| City of London Police estimate, reported by the FCA in 2025 | Estimated average loss of £11,222 per victim | An estimate cited by the FCA, not the U.S. median or a directly comparable measure. FCA review |
| FCA review, 2025 | 85% of 60 confirmed romance-fraud cases originated online | A review sample, not a population-wide estimate. FCA review |
| FBI Internet Crime Complaint Center figures for 2022, cited by FBI Cleveland | 19,000 complaints and at least $739 million in reported losses | The combined confidence-and-romance scam category, not romance scams alone. FBI Cleveland warning |
These figures do not establish that men are disproportionately targeted in either country. The FBI Cleveland office’s warning characterizes perpetrators as predominantly men targeting women over 40, but that is a local-office characterization, not a national U.S. or U.K. gender-distribution study. The broader FBI and FTC guidance says anyone can be targeted. The sources cited here do not provide a current sex-disaggregated figure that verifies a particular risk to men.
Warning signs to take seriously
- The relationship becomes intense unusually quickly, with declarations of love or talk of marriage before you have met.
- The person repeatedly promises to meet in person but has a new excuse, such as overseas work or an emergency.
- They urge you to leave the dating or social platform, keep the relationship secret, or avoid discussing it with people you trust.
- They ask for money, gift cards, cryptocurrency, a wire transfer, a payment-app transfer, bank details, or help receiving or moving money.
- They offer investment or cryptocurrency advice and claim they can help you make money.
- They ask for intimate images or personal details that could be used for extortion or identity fraud.
- Their photo, name, work story or other profile details do not match what an independent search finds.
These warning patterns appear in FTC advice and FBI guidance. You do not have to prove who is behind an account before deciding not to send anything.
What to do before sending money or personal material
- Pause and do not pay. The FTC’s advice is: “Never send money or gifts to a love interest you haven’t met in person.” Treat a request for gift cards, cryptocurrency, account access or help moving money as a reason to stop, not as a test of affection. See the FTC’s February 2025 warning.
- Check the profile independently. Search the person’s profile photo and identifying details online. The FTC recommends a reverse image search; the FBI also advises researching the photo and profile.
- Ask someone you trust for an outside view. Tell a friend or family member what is happening and keep them informed, especially if the person asks you to keep the relationship private.
- Do not send intimate images or sensitive details. Material shared privately can be used for extortion or identity fraud.
The FBI says: “If you haven’t met the person after a few months, for whatever reason, you have good reason to be suspicious.” A promised meeting that never happens is not proof on its own, but repeated excuses combined with secrecy or money requests deserve serious caution. See FBI Romance Scams guidance.
Independent reader supportYour contribution helps us test, update, and keep practical guides available for everyone.What to do if you already sent money
- Stop contact and do not send more. Do not pay a further fee to supposedly recover money or resolve an emergency.
- Contact your bank or payment provider promptly. Explain that you may have been defrauded and ask what steps are available for the specific transfer or account. The FCA’s 2025 review describes how U.K. banks and payment firms can detect, intervene in and support romance-fraud cases.
- Report the account to the dating, social or messaging platform. Include the profile and messages if the service allows it.
- Make an official report. In the United States, the FTC directs consumers to ReportFraud.ftc.gov, and the FBI accepts reports through the Internet Crime Complaint Center. The sources cited here do not verify a U.K. consumer reporting route, so no U.K.-specific reporting link is provided.
Keep relevant messages and payment records for your bank, provider, platform or authorities. Reporting a suspected scam can document what happened even when you do not know the person’s real identity.
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