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What to Say When Someone Stutters: A Guide to Responding with Empathy

A patient response is simple: listen to the message, stay engaged, and let the person finish without corrections or assumptions.

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Listen to what the person is saying, stay engaged, and give them time to finish. Don’t complete their sentences, tell them to slow down or relax, or comment on how fluent they sound. A natural, patient response is usually more helpful than trying to fix the moment.

What should you do when someone stutters?

Focus on the person’s message rather than the mechanics of their speech. Keep your attention on them, use natural eye contact if that feels comfortable, and wait until they have finished before replying. The Stuttering Foundation recommends patient listening and a natural manner; the American Speech-Language-Hearing Association (ASHA) also advises listeners not to interrupt or speak for someone who stutters.

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There is no need to make the conversation unusually formal or solemn. Speak in your ordinary, relaxed way and respond to what the person said, just as you would with anyone else.

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What should you avoid saying or doing?

  • Don’t finish their sentence or supply a word. Even when meant as help, it can interrupt the person’s thought and take control of what they are trying to say. The Stuttering Foundation reproduces Miss Manners columnist Judith Martin’s answer to this question: “So yes, it is considered rude to finish other people’s sentences.”
  • Don’t give stock instructions. Avoid “Slow down,” “Take a breath,” or “Relax.” The Stuttering Foundation says such advice can feel demeaning, while ASHA notes that directives of this kind can increase tension and negative reactions.
  • Don’t grade the speech. Avoid calling it “good” or “bad,” congratulating someone for being fluent, joking about stuttering, or showing pity. STAMMA recommends neutral, respectful language instead of treating stammering as something shameful or as an achievement to overcome.
  • Don’t assume the person wants to stop stuttering. People have different views about their speech. ASHA notes that some regard it as a different way of talking and may be proud of their resilience and confidence. Speech-language therapy goals can include easier speech, confidence, and communication—not only eliminating stuttering.

How can you keep your own speech comfortable?

Speak at an unhurried pace, but don’t slow down so much that your speech sounds unnatural. You do not need to imitate the other person’s speech or alter every part of your speaking style. The practical aim is to avoid rushing them while keeping the exchange ordinary and engaged.

What if the conversation is stressful or time-sensitive?

Some situations, including telephone conversations, presentations, and job interviews, can be harder for some people who stutter. Allow extra time where you can. On a call, avoid jumping in during a pause; in a meeting or interview, don’t rush to fill silence or move on before the person has finished.

If you are unsure what would be helpful in a particular situation, ask respectfully rather than guessing. People who stutter do not all want the same response. STAMMA puts the general principle simply in its In Conversation With Someone Who Stammers guide: “All you need to do is listen and be patient. That’s it. Just as you would when speaking with anyone.”

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How should you talk about stuttering?

Use respectful, neutral wording and follow the individual’s own preference when you know it. STAMMA’s January 2024 language guidance advises against framing a person as suffering from or overcoming stammering, and against judging the quality of their speech. “A person who stutters” and “a person who stammers” are both used; preferences can vary.

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The guidance comes from different perspectives: the Stuttering Foundation offers practical tips for listeners, ASHA provides professional-association guidance on communication and stuttering, and STAMMA addresses person-centered language. Together, they support a simple approach: listen, allow time, and treat the person—not their fluency—as the focus of the conversation.

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