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Put your parent’s immediate safety first, then work out family disagreements without making one relative responsible for keeping them safe. In the U.S., call 911 for life-threatening danger; call or text 988 for suicide-crisis support and guidance, including if you are worried about someone else. If you are outside the U.S., use your local emergency number and crisis service.
First, find out whether there may be immediate danger
If you can speak with your parent safely, ask plainly: “Are you thinking about suicide?” NIMH recommends asking directly; its guidance says asking does not increase suicidal thoughts or behavior. You can also ask whether they have a plan. These questions help you listen and seek appropriate help—they do not let a family member determine someone’s risk or replace a trained assessment.
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Take it as an emergency if your parent says they are going to kill themselves, has made an attempt, or cannot stay safe. NIMH’s FAQ says: “If someone tells you that they are going to kill themselves, do not leave them alone.” In the U.S., call 911 for a life-threatening emergency. Call or text 988, or use 988 online chat, for crisis support and guidance. If you are not with your parent, you can still contact 988 for advice. Do not put yourself in danger while trying to help.
Warning signs that warrant prompt help include talking about wanting to die, hopelessness, feeling trapped or like a burden, making a suicide plan or researching ways to die, withdrawing or saying goodbye, giving away important possessions, risky behavior, extreme mood swings, changes in sleep or eating, and increased alcohol or drug use. NIMH and SAMHSA advise paying particular attention when signs are new or worsening, or follow a painful event, loss, or change. These signs are reasons to seek help, not a checklist for calculating risk.
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Talk to your parent without turning the conversation into an argument
Choose a calm moment and say what you have noticed without accusation: “I’m worried about you. Are you thinking about suicide?” Let your parent answer. Listen without judgment, acknowledge what they tell you, and avoid debating whether suicide is right or wrong, lecturing them about reasons to live, or acting shocked. Do not promise to keep suicidal intent secret. If the conversation becomes heated, pause the family debate and involve a crisis counselor or clinician.
Your parent may not want every relative to know. Share information narrowly—with people who need to help with safety or care—but do not let a request for secrecy prevent you from seeking urgent help when someone may be in danger.
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When relatives disagree, agree on the next safe action
Family members may differ about how serious the situation is, whether to contact a professional, what to tell others, or who should step in. Rather than trying to win an argument about the level of risk, focus on what can be done now: listen to your parent, contact crisis support or a clinician, and ask for help making a plan. Do not stage a confrontation or debate the parent’s disclosure in front of them.
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Make a practical plan with your parent and professional support
NIMH describes a safety or crisis plan as specific instructions for what to do and how to get help when suicidal thoughts occur. A clinician or crisis counselor can help your parent and family make or review one. It can cover:
- Warning signs that thoughts or distress may be worsening.
- Coping steps your parent is willing to try.
- Trusted people to contact, plus the clinician and crisis resources to use.
- What to do if the danger increases, including when to seek emergency help.
- Follow-up after a crisis or discharge, so support does not stop when the immediate episode passes.
Ask professionals how to reduce access to highly lethal means safely. Do not attempt anything that puts a relative at risk, and do not treat means reduction as a substitute for emergency care.
Independent reader supportYour contribution helps us test, update, and keep practical guides available for everyone.Share manageable tasks and get support for the family
If your parent agrees, divide practical tasks according to what people can realistically do: one relative might help contact a clinician, another arrange transport or daily needs, and another check in at an agreed time. Make the responsibilities specific and revisit them as circumstances change. A relative who cannot take on a task can still help identify another person or service; guilt is not a safety plan.
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Choose the service that fits the need
| Situation | Where to turn in the U.S. | What it is for |
|---|---|---|
| Life-threatening danger, an attempt in progress, or the person cannot stay safe | 911 | Emergency response. |
| Suicidal thoughts or distress needing crisis guidance, including concern about another person | Call or text 988, or use 988 online chat | Crisis support and guidance. |
| Ongoing family caregiver support, education, or peer connection | NAMI family programs and Family Caregiver HelpLine | Support for relatives; not emergency response. |
Outside the U.S., contact your local emergency number for immediate danger and your local crisis service for urgent mental-health support. Local availability of mobile crisis teams, urgent mental-health care, and family programs varies.
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