No study shows that people have stopped asking questions. What exists is a sharp first-person argument, and it deserves a careful reading. In “The Curiosity Gap: Why We’ve Stopped Asking Questions” on DEV Community (published September 22, 2026), Alexandra, a senior frontend engineer, describes feeling stuck while shipping code. She also describes a workplace that cares more about automation and output than about how systems work. Her claim is that those pressures can crowd out curiosity. This article sorts out what she argues, what readers said back, and how to keep your own questions alive.
What the essay actually claims
The essay is a personal reflection, not research. It gives no survey, sample, or measurement method. Neither the essay nor its comment thread offers a statistic showing that curiosity or question-asking has declined broadly. So “we’ve stopped asking questions” is best read as the author’s diagnosis of her own environment, not a measured trend.
As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.
Within that frame, her argument has three parts:
- Speed and automation tempt us to offload the interesting reasoning, not only the repetitive work.
- The motivation problem is real. She asks, “Why bother getting good at something if it might not matter in a few years (or months/weeks?)” and “Does it really matter if AI can do the skill/task/programming?”
- Responsibility sits with the individual. Uncertainty about which skills will matter is not, in her view, a reason to stop learning.
Her clearest line: “Not everything should be done in the name of automation and efficiency, sometimes we do stuff for the sake of enjoyment and curiosity.”
The Tool Desk
Outbyte Driver Updater FREEFix the driver behind crashes, sound loss and screen glitchesFind Drivers →Outbyte PC Repair FREEClear out junk files and repair common Windows errorsFree Scan →Does AI make us ask fewer questions, or more?
The comments show real disagreement, and both sides are individual experience, not evidence of prevalence. One commenter says AI has made them ask more follow-up questions and do more research. The author replies that some of the most important questions stay unasked. Examples are why a project is being built and what constraints should be found before implementation begins.
#1 Best Overall
- 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗨𝗹𝘁𝗶𝗺𝗮𝘁𝗲 𝗖𝗼𝘂𝗽𝗹𝗲𝘀 𝗖𝗮𝗿𝗱 𝗚𝗮𝗺𝗲 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗔𝗱𝘂𝗹𝘁𝘀: Look forward to your evenings with this bestselling intimacy card game – perfect for romantic couples looking to connect deeper with fun and meaningful questions. A must-have for those seeking the best card games to enjoy together and enhance their bond.
- 𝟭𝟳𝟬 𝗣𝘀𝘆𝗰𝗵𝗼𝗹𝗼𝗴𝘆-𝗕𝗮𝗰𝗸𝗲𝗱 𝗖𝗼𝗻𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗖𝗮𝗿𝗱𝘀 𝗖𝗿𝗲𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝗯𝘆 𝗘𝘅𝗽𝗲𝗿𝘁𝘀: Explore love, life, dreams, and desires with couples conversation cards that spark laughter, honesty, and meaningful connection. Perfect for couples games seeking emotional growth through engaging dialogue.
- 𝗣𝗲𝗿𝗳𝗲𝗰𝘁 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗗𝗮𝘁𝗲 𝗡𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁 𝗚𝗮𝗺e𝘀 𝗼𝗿 𝗚𝗮𝗺𝗲 𝗡𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁 𝗙𝘂𝗻: Turn ordinary nights into unforgettable ones. This deck includes 7 curated topic categories to guide conversations across all aspects of your relationship. Whether it's a cozy two-player game or part of your board games for adults collection, this couples game is your go-to for deepening connections and sharing laughs.
- 𝗛𝗶𝗴𝗵𝗹𝘆 𝗥𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝗖𝗮𝗿𝗱 𝗚𝗮𝗺𝗲 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗖𝗼𝘂𝗽𝗹𝗲𝘀 𝗼𝗻 𝗔𝗺𝗮𝘇𝗼𝗻 – 𝗟𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗱 𝗯𝘆 𝗢𝘃𝗲𝗿 𝟮𝟬𝟬𝗞 𝗖𝗼𝘂𝗽𝗹𝗲𝘀: Join over 200,000 couples who choose our relationship-building couple card game over typical adult games for game night. A top-rated addition to your collection of relationship-building activities, this intimacy game is perfect for those looking to spark deeper conversations and emotional connection.
- 𝗔 𝗧𝗼𝗽-𝗥𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝗚𝗶𝗳𝘁 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗕𝗼𝘆𝗳𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗻𝗱, 𝗚𝗶𝗿𝗹𝗳𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗻𝗱, 𝗼𝗿 𝗦𝗽𝗼𝘂𝘀𝗲: Searching for couple gifts, relationship card games, or romantic gifts for him or her? This deck is a thoughtful choice for anniversary gifts, birthdays, or holidays. An excellent option for long distance relationship gifts as well!
| Axis | AI as question generator | AI as substitute for exploration |
|---|---|---|
| Kind of question | Technical, with fast answers that prompt follow-ups | Collaborative questions about purpose and constraints, which a tool does not raise for you |
| Effect on learning | Easy to dig deeper on demand | Easy to accept a working answer and move on |
| Delivery vs. understanding | Faster delivery with extra research on the side | Faster delivery, but less retained understanding and less ability to adapt later |
This table summarizes two viewpoints. It is not a controlled comparison. Both can be true at once: a tool can deepen technical curiosity while letting the harder “why are we doing this?” conversation slip.
What gets lost when a tool does the interesting part
The useful distinction is between delegating tedious work and delegating understanding. Boilerplate you never wanted to write is one thing. The reasoning that tells you why a solution works, where it breaks, and whether it should exist at all is another. If the second goes too, you can ship quickly and still feel stuck, which is the state the essay opens with.
Rank #2
- 125 Deep Questions for Better Connection - Explore meaningful topics across 5 themed decks designed for couples, families, and friends. Strengthen communication, spark vulnerability, and create conversations you’ll remember.
- Perfect for Date Nights, Family Time & Holidays - A fun, low-stress activity for Christmas gatherings, stocking stuffers, couple’s game nights, and holiday bonding. Play anytime for 5 minutes or 2 hours.
- Build Trust, Intimacy & Emotional Safety - Creates a judgment-free space for honest conversations. Helps partners, roommates, and relatives open up, understand each other, and grow closer.
- Therapist-Trusted Relationship Tool - Used by therapists, counselors, and coaches as a supplemental resource for relationship growth. Supports communication development but is not a substitute for professional therapy.
- A Thoughtful Gift for Couples & Families - Makes a perfect Christmas gift, anniversary present, engagement gift, wedding gift, or couples stocking stuffer. Ideal for him, her, and anyone seeking deeper connection.
Ways to keep curiosity active
The author’s own suggestions are personal, not experimentally validated:
Quick wins for a faster PC:
Repair Windows errors before they cause bigger problemsFix Now →Fix the driver behind crashes, sound loss and screen glitchesFind Drivers →Clear out junk files and repair common Windows errorsFree Scan →- Learn a new programming language.
- Try a hobby outside tech.
- Try a new library.
- Revisit old projects.
- Build something unrelated to work.
- Write, because she says it exposed gaps in her understanding and revealed what interested her.
Three exercises that fit the essay’s logic
These are editorial suggestions consistent with the essay and discussion, not proven behavior-change methods.
Rank #3
- {THE AND} COUPLES EDITION: The perfect relationship card game for couples for really getting to know your significant other! This couple conversation card deck guides you and your partner into a meaningful time with connective questions; Perfect for intimate moments and uninterrupted 1-on-1 time
- CARD GAME FOR COUPLES: Popular couples card game to go deeper and grow your relationship; This connection deck contains 199 questions for couples for better communication and more truth ; Get ready to dive into deep and close conversations with your boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, or wife
- INVEST IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP: Build your relationship's foundation by learning about each other through thought-provoking questions and prompts designed to bring you closer and to discover new aspects of your partner; Connect or reconnect in a raw and authentic way to unlock the secrets of love
- CONVERSATION STARTER CARDS FOR ANYWHERE: Building your relationship or marriage one question at a time can be done on vacation together, on date night, on long car rides, or next to a candle in your bedroom; The perfect gift to show your partner how much you care about them
- FOR ANY OCCASION: Reel in the season of love with a romantic gift for husband, wife, girlfriend, or boyfriend! The perfect couples gift idea or gift for newlyweds. Whatever the occasion, anniversary, Valentines Day, honeymoon, this deck will bond you. Add it to a date night gift basket or part of a romantic gift box.
- Explain it back. After a tool gives you a solution, explain in your own words why it works. Where your explanation stalls is the gap.
- Ask about purpose first. Before implementing, write down why the project exists and what constraints apply. Raise anything unclear with the people involved.
- Keep a question log. Write down open questions and assumptions on paper or in a notes app. One commenter mentions writing things down on paper. Any notebook works.
How to read the title
Treat “we’ve stopped asking questions” as a prompt, not a finding. The essay is strongest as an account of how work incentives can reward output over understanding. It is weakest if read as a claim about everyone. The thread itself shows people using the same tools to ask more.
Quick Recap
Best Value
- [Make New Friends or Get to Know Your Friends and Family Even Better] - From light, humorous icebreaker questions for acquaintances to deeper questions for long-time friends, these open-ended conversation cards help you connect with others and learn new things about them.
- [Fun Every Time!] - These 400 questions were carefully chosen so that each one can lead to fun conversations about a huge range of topics. No more wondering what to talk about or running out of things to say at hangouts, parties, or game night. Break out of the same old conversations with hundreds of new questions to ask.
- [Includes 400 Conversation Starter Questions] - Get great value with 2-4x more questions than most other conversation starter sets. Kickstart hours of conversation with the people you want to spend time with and get to know better.
- [Break Out of Boring Small Talk] - Enjoy story-telling and sharing with your friends or family at get-togethers or family dinners. Questions are appropriate for teens and adults. Makes a great gift that brings people together and makes memories.
- [Easy to Use Anywhere] - These cards are small (2.5" x 1.75") and double-sided which reduces paper usage and makes them super portable. This travel-sized set starts great conversations wherever you make or meet friends. Great for road trips, camping, and hanging out without technology and screens.
Rank #4
- GO BEYOND SMALL TALK — 52 cards with 104 open-ended questions (two per card) that turn dinners, road trips, and quiet nights in into conversations you'll actually remember. The original Holstee reflection deck.
- TOGETHER OR ON YOUR OWN — spark deeper conversations with couples, families, friends, and coworkers, or use the deck solo as journaling and self-reflection prompts. No rules, no setup — just draw a card and go deeper.
- COLOR-CODED BY THEME — questions span Gratitude, Wellness, Intention, and more, so you can steer toward what matters most in the moment. Inspired by mindfulness and positive psychology.
- SMALL ENOUGH TO POCKET, BEAUTIFUL ENOUGH TO DISPLAY — each card carries a unique, abstract design. Take the deck on the go, or leave it out on the coffee table.
- QUALITY YOU CAN FEEL — made in the USA from sustainably-forested paper with vegetable-based inks and a starch-based laminate that keeps them durable. As kind to the planet as they are to your conversations.
Product prices and availability are accurate as of the date/time indicated and are subject to change. Any price and availability information displayed on Amazon at the time of purchase will apply.
