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How to Talk to Children About Online Grooming and Exploitative Content

Practical, age-aware guidance for discussing online grooming and sexual content, spotting concerning behavior, and supporting a child who asks for help.
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Start talking before there is a problem, keep the conversation open as your child grows, and make clear that they can ask for help without being blamed or punished. Explain the behaviors that can make an online interaction unsafe—not just the idea of “stranger danger”—and know what to do if a child tells you something has happened.

How do I talk to my child about online grooming?

Make online safety part of ordinary conversations about relationships, bodies, privacy, consent, and the apps or games your child uses. Ask what they enjoy and who they spend time with online. A relaxed check-in is more likely to invite an honest answer than an interrogation focused only on rules or risk.

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eSafety Commissioner guidance says it is never too early to have online safety conversations with children. Its advice is Australian guidance, but the everyday conversation principles can be adapted to a child’s age and circumstances. One conversation cannot prepare a child for every situation, so return to the subject as their independence and online experiences change.

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For children ages 0–12

Use short, concrete language suited to the child’s development, disability, neurodivergence, and circumstances. Explain that they can tell you if someone sends sexual content, asks about private body parts or sexual experiences, requests a nude image, or wants to move to a private chat in a way that makes them uncomfortable. Let them know they can ask for help whether the person is a stranger, a friend, or someone they met in a game.

Teach children to notice behaviors rather than memorize a rule against talking to strangers. Someone may pretend to be another age or identity, share a child’s interests, or seem like a friend. Encourage a child to say no if they can, stop responding if it is safe, and tell a trusted adult. They do not have to decide on their own whether a person’s behavior is serious enough to mention.

For teenagers ages 13–18

Talk directly and without shaming about boundaries, consent, respectful relationships, pressure to share sexual images, and threats to share images. Discuss who they would contact and what would help them feel safe if an online interaction became uncomfortable. Keep age-appropriate supervision, while making it clear that seeking help will not automatically mean punishment or losing every device.

Words that make it easier to ask for help

Use calm, factual language and make room for the child to talk in their own words. For example:

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  • “You can tell me if anything online makes you uncomfortable.”
  • “I’ll listen and help.”
  • “You won’t be in trouble for asking me for help.”
  • “No one should ask you for a sexual picture.”
  • “If something happens, we can decide together what to do next.”

Avoid blaming or shaming the child, threatening an immediate blanket device ban, or suggesting they caused the behavior. A child may be more willing to speak up if they believe an adult will listen first.

What are the warning signs of online grooming?

The eSafety Commissioner describes child grooming as building trust with someone under 18 to make them more likely to respond to requests that can lead to sexual harm. Online abuse can include pressure to discuss private body parts, share nude images, or engage sexually in a chat or video call. A person may use a false profile or avatar, shared interests, compliments, gifts, favors, secrecy, frequent contact across services, questions about a child’s device or location, sexual questions, or pressure to meet.

The pattern varies, and a proposed in-person meeting is not required for online grooming to be a concern. No single behavior proves grooming, but take a child’s concern seriously and look at the context and pattern.

  • Someone asks the child to keep a relationship, conversation, or gift secret.
  • They repeatedly contact the child, move between apps, or ask for personal details such as location or device access.
  • They give gifts or favors, or use flattery and shared interests to build trust.
  • They ask sexualized questions, request images, or pressure the child to talk or act sexually.
  • They pressure the child to meet or make the child feel responsible for the other person’s feelings.

eSafety reports findings from the Australian Child Maltreatment Study (2024) that nearly 1 in 5 children had experienced sexual grooming behavior from adults; among children who experienced grooming online, 1 in 4 were under 12. These figures are Australian study findings reported by eSafety, not worldwide prevalence estimates. The same study, as reported by eSafety, found that around 1 in 13 children had experienced a sexual image of them shared without consent before age 18.

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What should I do if someone asks my child for nude pictures?

Prioritize your child’s immediate safety and reassure them that the request is not their fault. Do not forward or circulate sexual images. If images or threats are involved, avoid sharing them with friends or family; seek guidance from the appropriate official reporting or image-removal service in your jurisdiction.

Where it is safe, keep relevant messages, account names, dates, and other details that may help establish what happened. eSafety advises collecting evidence before reporting unwanted contact to a platform, then reporting the account and blocking it. Do not let evidence collection delay action if the child is in immediate danger.

In Australia, eSafety directs suspected child sexual abuse or exploitation to the Australian Centre to Counter Child Exploitation, and immediate danger to emergency services. Report suspected grooming or child sexual abuse to police. Reporting routes differ by country; outside Australia, contact your local child-protection service or law-enforcement agency. For sexual images, eSafety’s overview identifies Take It Down as an option to help prevent certain images or videos from being uploaded and shared on participating services. Check its current eligibility and instructions before using it.

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What do I say if my child tells me someone online made them uncomfortable?

Listen calmly and thank them for telling you. Reassure them that asking for help was the right thing to do, even if they replied, shared something, or tried to stop the contact before speaking up. Avoid blame and do not promise to keep the disclosure secret; explain that you may need to involve people who can help keep them safe.

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  1. Check immediate safety. Ask only what you need to know to establish whether the person can reach the child or whether there is an urgent threat. If there is immediate danger, contact local emergency services.
  2. Let the child speak at their own pace. Do not press for a detailed account or repeatedly ask leading questions. Focus on listening and helping them feel safe.
  3. Preserve relevant information if safe. Keep messages, account details, or other evidence that may matter. Do not circulate sexual images.
  4. Use platform and local reporting routes. Report unwanted contact through the platform, block the account after preserving relevant evidence when safe, and contact appropriate authorities if grooming or abuse is suspected.

If the child has seen sexual images, respond without treating them as responsible for encountering the content. Answer questions honestly in an age-appropriate way, and explain that pornography is usually not an accurate reflection of real life. eSafety reported in 2026 that only 1 in 3 parents and carers had talked with their child about what to do if they saw sexual images online. That is a finding from eSafety research, not a global estimate.

Should I use parental controls or content filters?

Filters and safe-search settings may limit some content, but eSafety warns that no filter is 100% effective. Treat them as one possible layer alongside age-appropriate supervision and open conversation—not as a guarantee that a child will not encounter sexual material or unsafe contact.

Ask about the apps, games, and online relationships your child actually uses. eSafety’s Australian family resources include conversation cards developed with the Australian Centre to Counter Child Exploitation; a paid product is not necessary to start talking. Choose a mix of check-ins and boundaries that fits the child’s maturity and makes it easier for them to seek help.

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