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Random freezes, missing sound and display glitches usually trace back to one bad driver. Find and replace yours safely.Free scan · under a minuteYou cannot reliably tell from someone’s words whether they are having suicidal thoughts or “just” asking for help—and those possibilities are not opposites. Someone can ask for help while thinking about suicide. Take talk of suicide seriously, ask directly, listen without judgment, and help the person connect with support.
Why you should not try to judge whether they “really mean it”
There is no reliable wording-based test for separating suicidal thoughts from a request for help. A statement about wanting to die is not proof of what someone will do, but it is a sign of serious distress that calls for attention—not a reason to dismiss them as attention-seeking. The National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) says suicidal thoughts or actions indicate that someone needs help. (NIMH, Frequently Asked Questions About Suicide)
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This is not a diagnostic test. A friend or relative can ask, listen, and help connect someone to care; screening and clinical assessment belong with trained professionals.
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You can say: “I care about you, and I want to understand. Are you thinking about suicide?” NIMH also gives the example, “Are you thinking of killing yourself?” Asking plainly does not plant the idea: NIMH says studies show that asking whether someone is suicidal does not increase suicidal thoughts or behavior. (NIMH, 5 Action Steps to Help Someone Having Thoughts of Suicide; NIMH, Frequently Asked Questions About Suicide)
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Give them room to answer. Listen without arguing, judging, or trying to solve everything at once. You might ask what would help them feel safer right now, then work with them to involve someone they trust or a professional. Do not promise to keep suicidal thoughts secret. WHO guidance advises against promising secrecy when someone talks about suicide. (WHO Eastern Mediterranean Regional Office, 2019 fact sheet)
Recognize warning signs without treating them as a diagnosis
Possible warning signs include talking about wanting to die; feeling hopeless, trapped, empty, or like a burden; unbearable emotional or physical pain; withdrawing; saying goodbye; giving away important possessions or putting affairs in order; taking dangerous risks; extreme mood changes; increased alcohol or drug use; and changes in eating or sleeping. NIMH advises seeking help as soon as possible, especially when signs are new or have increased. (NIMH, Warning Signs of Suicide)
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The 988 Lifeline also points to signs that are new, increasing, or connected with a painful event, loss, or change. A warning-sign list cannot establish a person’s intent or predict what they will do. Use it as a reason to check in and connect them with help—not as a way to label someone or rule out danger. (988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, Warning Signs)
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NIMH’s five action steps are Ask, Be There, Help Keep Them Safe, Help Them Connect, and Follow Up. In practice, that means asking about suicide, staying present, helping reduce access to highly lethal items or places where possible, connecting the person to trusted people or professional support, and checking in afterward. (NIMH, 5 Action Steps to Help Someone Having Thoughts of Suicide)
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If someone says they are going to kill themselves or appears to be in immediate danger, do not leave them alone. In the United States, call 911 for a life-threatening emergency. For suicidal crisis or emotional distress in the United States, call or text 988, or use chat at 988lifeline.org. These numbers are U.S.-specific; elsewhere, contact local crisis or emergency services. (NIMH, Frequently Asked Questions About Suicide)
Independent reader supportYour contribution helps us test, update, and keep practical guides available for everyone.Encourage a safety plan and professional care
A safety plan or crisis response plan sets out what to do and how to get help when suicidal thoughts arise. NIMH says creating one can help reduce the risk of acting on those thoughts. Encourage the person to make a plan with appropriate support rather than treating a checklist—or a conversation with a friend—as a substitute for a clinician or crisis counselor. (NIMH, Frequently Asked Questions About Suicide)
NIMH’s ASQ Toolkit is designed for medical settings. Its guidance says a positive screen should be followed by a brief suicide safety assessment conducted by a trained clinician. That distinction matters: supporters can ask and help someone reach care, while clinicians handle screening follow-up and assessment. (NIMH, ASQ Toolkit)
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