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One free scan finds every outdated or missing driver and matches the right update for your exact hardware.Free scan · exact hardware matchWhen a disagreement at work emerges, start by identifying the specific event and its effect on the work—not by guessing at anyone’s motives. If it is safe and appropriate, raise the issue privately and calmly. If the situation involves harassment, discrimination, a serious policy concern, a power imbalance, or an unsuccessful attempt to resolve it, use the relevant workplace support or formal reporting channel instead. Informal conversation is one option, not a rule that every employee must follow.
First decide whether a direct conversation is appropriate
Early discussion can help people understand what happened and agree on a next step before positions harden. But the right response depends on the circumstances. Acas describes informal resolution as voluntary dialogue; it also says workplace problems should be taken seriously and that formal grievance routes remain available when informal steps fail or the issue is too serious. Acas guidance on handling a problem at work explains the options.
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- A private conversation may fit a discrete misunderstanding or relationship disagreement when you feel safe speaking directly and both people can participate freely.
- Get support first if the issue is repeated, complex, unresolved, or affected by a power imbalance. A line manager, another manager, HR, or a union or employee representative may be a more appropriate first contact.
- Use the relevant reporting or formal process for suspected harassment or discrimination, serious conduct concerns, or any situation where policy calls for a report. Do not assume you must confront the person or try mediation first.
Check your employer’s policy before choosing a route: it may specify who receives a concern and how to raise it. Depending on the situation, an informal discussion can be a private conversation or a more structured meeting with a manager or HR.
Prepare to raise the issue clearly
- Name the event or behavior. Note what happened, when and where it occurred, and who was involved. Separate what you observed from what you inferred.
- Describe the work impact. Explain the practical effect—for example, a handoff was missed or a decision could not be made—rather than labeling someone’s personality.
- Choose a suitable person and setting. If a direct conversation is safe, ask to speak privately. If not, approach a manager, HR, or a representative you trust. Managers can consult HR or union representatives where appropriate.
- Decide what would help. Be ready to ask for a specific change or agree on a practical next step, while leaving room to hear the other person’s account.
This preparation keeps the discussion focused on the problem and its resolution rather than speculation about intent.
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Have a calm, specific conversation
If direct discussion is safe and appropriate, describe the example and its impact, invite the other person’s view, and look for an agreed next step. CIPD advises managers to speak with people individually and privately, without making assumptions. CIPD’s guide to managing conflict at work offers related guidance.
You might say: “When the project changes were shared after the handoff, I didn’t have the information needed to finish my part. Can we agree how updates will be shared next time?” This identifies a concrete event and work effect, then opens a discussion about a solution.
- Keep the conversation private and focused on the issue.
- Use specific examples rather than broad claims such as “you always do this.”
- Ask an open question, such as “How did you see it?”
- Listen for information you may not have had.
- Agree who will do what next and when you will check whether it helped.
If the conversation becomes unsafe, hostile, or unproductive, pause it and seek support. You do not have to continue a one-to-one discussion simply because it was your first approach.
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Informal resolution does not mean the issue is trivial, and it does not prevent an organization from taking it seriously. Acas notes that a worker may raise a problem informally with a manager or HR, while formal grievance procedures remain an option if informal steps do not work or the matter is too serious.
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- Author: Bungay Stanier, Michael.
- Publisher: Page Two
- Pages: 244
- Publication Date: 2016-02-29
- Edition: 1
- Manager, HR, or representative support: Ask for help planning a conversation, arranging a structured discussion, or identifying the policy route. This can be useful when the issue is complex or direct discussion feels unbalanced.
- Formal grievance or investigation: Follow the employer’s procedure when informal efforts have failed or the concern is serious. Use the required channel and provide relevant facts and records.
- Harassment or discrimination reporting: Follow the applicable policy and reporting channel rather than treating the matter as an ordinary personality clash. In the United States, the EEOC advises workers to check their employer’s policy and report harassment through an appropriate channel. Federal law protects against retaliation for covered reporting, but the rules and processes depend on the circumstances. The EEOC’s harassment guidance concerns U.S. federal protections; it is not a universal account of workplace rights.
Employment rights, reporting procedures, and complaint deadlines vary by jurisdiction. Acas and CIPD guidance is UK-focused, while EEOC guidance concerns U.S. federal protections; follow the rules that apply where you work.
Consider mediation only for a suitable dispute
Mediation is a voluntary, impartial facilitated discussion intended to help people reach an agreed solution. It can be useful when a working relationship has broken down or people are struggling to communicate. It is not a universal fix: Acas distinguishes relationship disagreements from disputes such as pay or dismissal, and CIPD says serious harassment complaints are better handled through formal procedures. See Acas’s workplace mediation guidance and CIPD’s conflict-management guidance.
Before agreeing, check that participation is genuinely voluntary, the process is impartial, and the issue is suitable for mediation under workplace policy. Do not treat mediation as a substitute for required reporting or investigation.
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What workplace-conflict figures can—and cannot—tell you
In Acas’s 2025 Great Britain survey of respondents who had experienced workplace conflict in the previous 12 months, 45% said they discussed it with their manager, 30% reported an informal discussion with the other person, and 19% said they took no action. Half said the conflict was largely or fully resolved, while 31% said it was mainly or completely unresolved. Respondents could report multiple actions. These results describe reported experiences; they do not prove that one route caused a particular outcome or will work for every dispute. Acas’s 2025 workplace-conflict findings provide the survey context.
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