Pause a conversation that is no longer constructive, then arrange a private time to hear both sides, clarify the specific disagreement and any support needed, and agree practical next steps. Fatigue can make communication harder, but it does not establish who is at fault or explain what caused a particular conflict.
Start by pausing an unproductive exchange
If either person is too tired or upset to speak calmly, pause rather than press on. If circumstances allow, agree a reasonable time to continue when both can focus. Make clear that the conversation is being postponed, not ignored, and identify when you will return to it.
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Where there is an immediate safety concern or a serious allegation, do not delay appropriate action just to preserve an informal conversation. Follow the employer’s relevant procedure and seek suitable advice.
Talk privately and establish what happened
Meet away from colleagues and interruptions. Give each person time to describe the specific events, what they understood, and how the situation affected their work. Ask open questions, listen without taking sides, and distinguish observable details from assumptions about motives.
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- What happened, and when?
- What is the concrete point of disagreement?
- What does each person need to change or understand?
- Is there a practical work issue or support need contributing to the strain?
Do not assume tiredness explains someone’s behaviour or that one account tells the whole story. The aim is to understand the disagreement and decide what should happen next, not to diagnose either person.
If you are the employee
In the private conversation, describe particular events and their impact rather than assigning blame or intent. Explain what practical change would help—for example, clearer priorities, a conversation about workload, or an agreed way to raise concerns. You do not have to disclose personal circumstances. If you choose to discuss stress, Acas advises that a manager should listen, explore possible causes, and work with you on potential solutions.
If approaching your manager feels uncomfortable, possible alternatives include another manager, a trusted colleague, a union representative if applicable, or an employee support network where available. You can ask who may need to receive information and why; do not assume that every detail can remain confidential, particularly where safety or specialist support is involved.
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If you are the manager
Take the concern seriously and make time for a private conversation. Ask open questions about the disagreement and, if the employee raises tiredness or stress, what support might help. Avoid treating fatigue as proof of a cause or as a substitute for addressing the concrete work issue.
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- Author: Bungay Stanier, Michael.
- Publisher: Page Two
- Pages: 244
- Publication Date: 2016-02-29
- Edition: 1
Explore practical options with the employee, explain any relevant support routes, and agree how and when you will check in. Acas describes informal resolution as voluntary dialogue rather than blame or punishment; it may begin with separate one-to-one conversations and, if appropriate, move to a facilitated discussion.
Choose a response that fits the seriousness of the issue
| Route | When it may fit | What to keep in mind |
|---|---|---|
| Private informal conversation | A manageable disagreement where both people can engage. | Hear each account, identify the specific issue, and agree actions and a follow-up. |
| Facilitated discussion or voluntary mediation | Direct conversation has stalled or the working relationship is strained. | Participation should be voluntary; mediation is not the right route for every allegation. |
| Formal procedure and appropriate advice | Serious allegations such as harassment or discrimination, safety risks, or a fundamental breach. | Consult the employer’s policy and HR or another appropriate adviser rather than trying to settle a serious matter informally. |
For any route, be clear about privacy and its limits. Explain who may need to know and why, especially if safety, formal action, or specialist support is involved. Employment rules and internal procedures vary by location and employer; the guidance cited here is UK-oriented.
Agree actions and follow up
Before ending the conversation, make the next steps specific: who will do what, by when, and when you will review whether it has helped. Depending on the disagreement, actions might include clarifying a work expectation, changing how concerns are raised, or arranging a facilitated conversation. At the follow-up, ask whether the issue has settled and whether further support or a different route is needed.
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Acas’s 2025 survey of working-age people in Great Britain who had worked in the previous 12 months found that 44% of respondents experienced some form of workplace conflict during that period. The survey was commissioned in July 2025 and completed by 4,558 respondents in August–September 2025; its figures should not be generalized to other countries or populations. In the same survey, 57% of people reporting conflict said it resulted in stress, anxiety or depression. That is a reported association, not evidence that tiredness caused a particular dispute. Acas’s report and survey details provide the full context.
Half of people reporting conflict said it was largely or fully resolved. Among the approaches people reported trying, 45% discussed it with their own manager and 30% spoke with the other person. These are reported methods, not guarantees that a conversation will work in an individual case.
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