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How to Talk to Partners About STI Testing and Treatment

Plan a respectful conversation about STI testing and treatment, including what to ask, when to seek care, and where to get help with partner notification.

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Talk about STI testing before sex when possible: ask when each of you was last tested, share any relevant diagnosis or result, and decide together whether to seek care. If you have an STI, tell your partner even if treatment has started. A healthcare provider can advise which tests and treatment are right for you; if disclosure could put you at risk, ask a provider or public-health professional about safer notification options.

Start the conversation before sex, if you can

Choose a calm, private moment when neither of you feels rushed. Explain that the point is to make informed choices together, not to accuse or blame. Ask when each of you was last tested and whether there have been relevant results or changes since then. You could say: “Can we talk about when we were last tested and whether we want to get tested together?”

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The CDC encourages partners to discuss sexual health before sex and says respectful, nonjudgmental communication can help make the conversation productive. It also suggests considering testing together. See the CDC’s STI testing guidance and conversation tips.

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Ask open questions and share relevant information

Use direct, neutral questions: “When were you last tested?” or “Would you be comfortable talking with a clinician about what tests make sense for us?” Share your own information honestly, including a diagnosis even if you have started treatment. Avoid treating a test date or the absence of symptoms as proof that either person cannot have an STI.

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Choose testing with a healthcare provider

There is no single testing panel or interval that is right for everyone. The tests a provider recommends can depend on factors such as age, sexual history, current practices, symptoms, and the body sites involved. STI testing may use blood, urine, or swabs; depending on exposure and practices, throat or rectal samples may be relevant. Some STIs have no symptoms, so feeling well does not by itself establish that testing is unnecessary.

Tell the clinician about relevant sexual history, practices, symptoms, and possible exposure sites so they can recommend appropriate tests. CDC describes provider-performed testing, self-tests, and self-collection kits; it also advises discussing results and next steps with a healthcare provider, including when using a self-test or self-collection option. Options and availability can change, so check the current CDC testing page and ask a provider what is available to you. The CDC also points people to confidential free or low-cost clinics.

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If you receive a positive result

Tell current or recent partners as advised by your clinician, even if you have started taking medicine. A simple opener is: “I got a result that means I should tell you and encourage you to contact a healthcare provider.” You do not need to diagnose or prescribe for your partner; encourage them to seek evaluation and follow clinical advice.

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  • Take prescribed medication exactly as directed, and do not share it with anyone else.
  • Follow your clinician’s instructions about when to avoid sex and when it is safe to resume. CDC advises avoiding sex until you and your partner or partners have completed treatment.
  • Ask your clinician whether expedited partner therapy (EPT) is suitable. Whether it is available and appropriate depends on the infection and local rules.

For infection-specific advice, consult a healthcare provider and the CDC’s STI Treatment Guidelines. Do not rely on a partner’s medication or guess at a treatment regimen.

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Consider safer ways to notify a partner

If telling a partner yourself could lead to violence, threats, coercion, or another safety risk, do not assume direct disclosure is the only option. Speak with a healthcare provider or public-health professional about confidential notification or other support. CDC guidance says clinicians should consider intimate-partner-violence risk when discussing or arranging partner notification.

Providers and health departments may be able to help with notification, testing, counseling, or connection to treatment and other services. What they offer—and which infections they cover—varies by location and circumstance. Ask a local provider or health department about confidentiality, available services, and any local requirements rather than assuming one rule applies everywhere. See CDC’s Partner Services guidance.

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For HIV, CDC says Partner Services are available free through local health departments, though service scope still depends on local resources. The CDC HIV Nexus page reports that 15% of partners tested through Partner Services had HIV and were previously undiagnosed; that figure describes people reached through that service, not all partners or all STI notifications. See CDC HIV Partner Services.

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Get urgent advice after a possible recent HIV exposure

If you may have been exposed to HIV within the past 72 hours, seek urgent clinical guidance about whether post-exposure prophylaxis (PEP) may be appropriate. Do not wait for a planned partner conversation or rely on this article to decide whether to start it. The CDC’s HIV section of the STI Treatment Guidelines discusses PEP and related care.

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Use condoms as one part of prevention

Condoms, used correctly and consistently, can reduce STI risk, but they are one prevention measure rather than a substitute for testing, treatment, or other prevention options. Talk with a healthcare provider about what makes sense for your circumstances. CDC’s STI prevention guidance covers condoms and other prevention measures.

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