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If you sent money to someone you met online and now suspect a romance scam, stop contact and act quickly. Contact the bank, payment service, wire company, gift-card issuer or crypto platform involved and ask whether the payment can be stopped, reversed or refunded. Recovery is not guaranteed, but the sooner you ask, the better. The steps below follow U.S. guidance; reporting channels and payment protections differ in other countries.
What to do right now
- Stop sending money and stop contact. Do not pay another supposed tax, fee, customs charge, medical bill, emergency expense or investment top-up. The FBI’s romance-scam guidance advises victims to stop all contact. You do not need to confront the person or explain why.
- Contact the payment provider immediately. Use the provider’s official app or website, or the phone number printed on your card. Do not use a number or link the person sent you. Say that you were tricked into sending money to a scammer. Ask whether the transaction can be cancelled, recalled, disputed, reversed or refunded. The FTC says it is worth asking, though the outcome depends on the transaction and provider.
- Report the scam. If you are in the U.S., file a report with the FTC at ReportFraud.ftc.gov and the FBI’s Internet Crime Complaint Center (IC3). Report the profile to the dating site or social app where the person contacted you. Save confirmation numbers and follow any instructions from the provider or agency.
- Secure accounts and identity details. If you shared a password, change it immediately and change it anywhere else you reused it. If you gave out your Social Security number, use IdentityTheft.gov. Tell your bank promptly if the person got account details or if you see transactions you did not make.
- Be alert for recovery scams. Someone may claim they can retrieve your money for an upfront fee, special payment or more personal information. Treat that as suspicious and do not pay or share details. The FBI warns that victims of cryptocurrency investment fraud are often targeted by recovery-fraud schemes (FBI guidance).
Being manipulated by a scammer is not a reason to blame yourself. The FTC’s advice is direct: “If you think it’s a scam, report it to the FTC at ReportFraud.ftc.gov.” (FTC romance-scam guidance.)
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What to ask for, based on how you paid
Contact the company or institution that handled the payment as soon as possible. A pending payment, a completed transfer and a payment tied to unauthorized account access may be handled differently. Explain accurately what happened: if you personally initiated a transfer after being deceived, do not describe it as unauthorized unless someone accessed or used your account without permission.
| How you paid | Who to contact and what to ask | Useful records |
|---|---|---|
| Bank transfer or payment app | Call your bank or credit union, or the app’s official support channel. Explain that a scammer induced the transfer and ask whether it can be reversed or refunded. If you also see transfers you did not initiate, report those separately as unauthorized. | Transfer confirmation, date, amount, recipient details and any account-access alerts. |
| Wire transfer | Contact the wire-transfer company promptly. State that a scammer induced the transfer and request cancellation or a refund. | Receipt, transaction or reference number, date, amount and recipient details. |
| Gift card | Call the issuer using the number on the card. Provide the card and purchase details and ask whether the remaining balance can be frozen or refunded. | Keep the card and purchase receipt if available; provide the card details through the issuer’s official channel. |
| Cryptocurrency | Contact the exchange or ATM operator immediately, report the fraudulent transfer and ask what action, if any, is possible. Crypto payments generally have fewer protections, and recovery can be difficult; do not assume tracing or filing a report will return the funds. | Wallet addresses, transaction ID, date, amount and exchange or ATM records. |
| Cash or gold handed to someone | Consumer.gov advises calling local police. | Write down when and where the handoff happened and any available identifying details. |
Preserve evidence while you report
Keep the original messages where practical, along with screenshots and payment records. Collect the details that can help a provider, platform or investigator identify the transaction and account:
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- Dates, amounts, receipts and transfer confirmations.
- Recipient names or account details, wallet addresses and transaction IDs.
- The person’s usernames, profile links, phone numbers and email addresses.
- Message history and the name of the dating site or social app where contact began.
Give relevant details to your payment provider and IC3, and report the account to the platform. Filing a report creates a record and may help authorities and platforms identify patterns; it does not guarantee reimbursement.
How common were different payment methods in reported losses?
The FTC’s 2023 spotlight reported the following shares of reported U.S. romance-scam losses for 2022. These figures describe reported losses, not every romance scam or every person who paid:
| Payment method | Share of reported 2022 losses |
|---|---|
| Cryptocurrency | 34% |
| Bank wire transfer or payment | 27% |
| Gift cards | 7% |
| Payment app or service | 3% |
| Other | 28% |
The figures come from the FTC’s 2023 romance-scam spotlight. More than 60% of reported romance-scam losses in 2022 involved cryptocurrency and bank wire or payment methods combined.
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Changing a compromised password is a first step, especially if it was reused. If the scammer has bank account information, call the bank using its official contact details and explain what was exposed; keep checking for unfamiliar activity. For a Social Security number exposed to the scammer, follow the steps at IdentityTheft.gov. If you discover transactions you did not initiate, tell the financial institution that those transactions were unauthorized, separately from any payment you personally made after being deceived.
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