If a parent says they want to die, take it seriously—even if they say it during an argument or later minimize it. If you can do so safely, stay with them, ask directly whether they are thinking about suicide, and help connect them with crisis support. In the United States, call or text 988 for crisis help; call 911 for immediate danger or urgent medical attention.
What to do first
The 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline recommends five actions: “Ask. Be there. Help keep them safe. Help them connect. Follow up.” Use them as a guide, not as a substitute for professional crisis support.
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- Ask: Speak calmly and ask plainly whether they are thinking about suicide right now.
- Be there: Listen without arguing, shaming, or trying to talk them out of their feelings. Stay with them if you can do so safely.
- Help keep them safe: If it is safe, reduce access to weapons, pills, or other dangerous items. Do not put yourself in danger trying to remove something.
- Help them connect: Contact 988 in the United States, or help your parent connect with crisis support and another trusted person.
- Follow up: Check in after the first conversation or call and continue showing interest and support.
The Lifeline’s guidance for helping someone else emphasizes getting support rather than taking responsibility for assessing or treating your parent alone.
When to call 988 or 911
| Situation | What to do |
|---|---|
| Your parent is in crisis, but there is no immediate danger requiring emergency medical help. | In the United States and its territories, call or text 988, or use 988 chat. The Lifeline describes its support as free, confidential, and available 24/7. |
| There is an immediate attempt, an injury, imminent danger, or urgent medical need. | Call 911 in the United States. The Lifeline says emergency services are the fastest help in imminent-risk situations. Do not put yourself at risk trying to intervene physically. |
| You are outside the United States. | Use the locally verified crisis service and emergency number. The contacts listed here are U.S.-specific. |
If you are unsure what to do, call 988 for guidance when in the United States. If the situation is immediately dangerous or needs urgent medical attention, call 911.
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What to say—and what to avoid
Use direct, nonjudgmental language. You could say: “I’m glad you told me. Are you thinking about suicide right now?” Listen to the answer, then ask whether they have a plan or access to something they could use. A direct question helps you understand what is happening; it is not a reason to avoid the conversation.
Do not promise to keep the disclosure secret. If your parent says they have a plan to hurt themselves, involve crisis support. You can say, “I care about you, and I’ll stay with you while we find help.”
- Avoid debating whether suicide is right or wrong.
- Do not act shocked, dare them, lecture them about the value of life, or offer glib reassurance.
- Listen without judgment and focus on connecting them with help.
Warning signs to take seriously
The Lifeline lists the following as possible warning signs. Concern is greater when a behavior is new, increasing, or connected with a painful event, loss, or change.
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- Talking about wanting to die or looking for a way to die
- Feeling hopeless, trapped, or in unbearable pain, or saying they are a burden
- Increased alcohol or drug use
- Anxiety, agitation, reckless behavior, or rage and talk of revenge
- Sleeping much more or less, isolating, or having extreme mood swings
These signs are reasons to seek help, not a way for a family member to diagnose your parent or predict whether they will attempt suicide. The Lifeline also identifies previous suicide attempts, substance-use disorders, hopelessness, major physical illness, relationship or job or financial loss, access to lethal means, and isolation or lack of support as risk factors. It cautions that risk factors cannot cause or predict an attempt; use them as context, not as a substitute for responding to what your parent says now. See the Lifeline’s warning signs and risk factors guidance.
988 options in the United States
- General crisis support: Call or text 988, or use 988 chat.
- Spanish-language support: Call 988 and press 2, text AYUDA to 988, or use Spanish-language chat.
- Veterans, service members, and loved ones: Call 988 and press 1, or text 838255.
These contact options are listed by the 988 Lifeline. For information about what happens when you contact the service, see What to Expect.
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Supporting a parent through a crisis can be overwhelming. You do not have to manage it alone: involve another trusted person and ask 988 for guidance. After the first call or conversation, follow up with your parent and seek support for yourself if you need it.
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