If your child is being harassed online, start with safety and listening—not punishment. Sit with your child, ask what happened, and make clear that you are on their side. Then preserve the information, use the platform’s blocking and reporting tools, and decide together whether the school, a health professional, or law enforcement should be involved.
Dr. Sameer Hinduja, co-director of the Cyberbullying Research Center, puts the first step plainly: "First and foremost, make sure your child feels, and is, safe." The response should describe the behavior and its impact rather than label a child as a “bully” or “victim.”
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What should I do if my child is being cyberbullied?
- Check immediate safety. Ask whether anyone has made a threat, shared a private image, tried to locate your child, or is waiting for them in person. If there is immediate danger, contact emergency services or police in your country.
- Listen calmly. Let your child explain in their own words. Avoid blaming questions such as why they responded or why they used the app. Ask what would help them feel safer right now.
- Agree on the next practical step. That might be saving evidence, blocking an account, telling a teacher, or contacting a professional. Involve your child in reasonable decisions so they retain a sense of control.
- Keep communication open. Tell your child they can return to you if the harassment continues or changes. A calm first response makes future disclosure more likely.
Do not automatically take away the phone or disconnect every account. HealthyChildren.org cautions that a child may experience device removal as punishment and become less willing to disclose later incidents. A temporary change may be appropriate for safety, but explain the reason, set a review time, and preserve access to trusted contacts and needed schoolwork.
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Preserve the original material before deleting, blocking, or changing settings. A simple incident log helps establish a pattern and gives a school, platform, or investigator usable facts.
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Make an incident log
- Date and time of each incident.
- The account name, profile link or other identifying detail, and the service or game where it occurred.
- Exactly what happened, including the words or images used and how your child encountered them.
- Frequency and severity: whether it happened once, repeatedly, or escalated.
- Location and audience, such as a private message, group chat, livestream, public post, or school-related platform.
- Witnesses, people who forwarded or encouraged the material, and any third-party involvement.
- Relevant context, including earlier contact, an argument, impersonation, or an offline incident connected to the online behavior.
- The effect on your child, such as fear, lost sleep, missed school, physical symptoms, or withdrawal.
Save copies without spreading the material
Take screenshots that show the message, username, date, time, and surrounding context. Save texts, emails, direct messages, post details, and relevant account information. Keep an unedited copy in a secure folder and note when it was saved. Do not reply to the harmful message and do not forward it to friends or a group chat; forwarding can amplify the harm and may alter the evidence trail. If the material involves sexual images of a child, do not download, copy, or redistribute it. Record where it appeared and contact the appropriate authorities for instructions.
Should I block or report the account?
For ongoing harassment, StopBullying.gov recommends blocking the person and reporting them through the relevant online service. Use the platform’s built-in report category that best matches the conduct—harassment, threats, impersonation, intimate-image abuse, or another specific violation. Save evidence first when it is safe to do so, because blocking or removal may make the material harder to document.
When to block
Blocking can stop direct messages, comments, mentions, or contact from an account. Check whether your child is also connected to the person through a second account, group, game, or shared server. Review privacy controls together so new accounts cannot immediately reach your child.
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When to report
Report content that violates the service’s rules, especially threats, targeted harassment, non-consensual intimate imagery, impersonation, or sexual content involving a minor. Keep the platform’s confirmation number or email if one is provided. Platform policies and interface labels change, so follow the current in-app reporting path and retain a copy of what you submitted.
How do I report cyberbullying at school?
Contact the school when a classmate is involved, when the behavior occurs on a school-managed account or device, or when it affects attendance, concentration, relationships, or physical safety at school. Ask for the school’s bullying policy and reporting process, and identify the staff member who will coordinate the response.
Prepare a concise report
- Give a dated timeline and attach the relevant screenshots or messages.
- Identify the students or accounts involved without speculating about motives.
- Explain the effect on your child and any immediate safety concern.
- State what your child needs now, such as a safe contact at school, schedule adjustments, supervision, or help preserving evidence.
- Ask when the school will acknowledge the report and how it will communicate next steps.
School policies and state requirements differ. A school may have authority over conduct that happens off campus when it disrupts school or threatens students, but the exact duty depends on local law and policy. Keep communication factual and written where possible, and record dates of meetings and responses.
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When should I contact law enforcement?
Contact law enforcement when the conduct may be a crime or creates an urgent safety risk. StopBullying.gov identifies these circumstances for reporting:
- Threats of violence.
- Stalking or repeated unwanted contact that creates fear.
- Hate crimes or threats based on a protected characteristic.
- Recording someone where they reasonably expect privacy.
- Child pornography or sexually explicit messages or photos involving a child.
State laws may cover additional behavior, and agencies differ in how they route reports. Do not investigate the sender yourself or arrange a confrontation. Preserve the information, ask the local police or applicable state or local education agency which jurisdiction handles it, and follow instructions about keeping devices and accounts unchanged. If there is immediate danger, call emergency services rather than waiting for a school or platform response.
What signs might I notice?
Possible signs include a sudden change in mood or behavior, withdrawal, avoiding social situations, losing interest in activities, sleep or appetite changes, or reluctance to use a device that was previously enjoyable. A child may also become unusually protective of a screen or appear distressed after notifications.
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These signs are prompts for a supportive conversation, not proof of cyberbullying. Choose a private, unhurried moment and ask whether anything online or on a device is making them uncomfortable. Avoid demanding passwords as the opening move; begin with safety and trust, then agree on what information you need to help.
Independent reader supportYour contribution helps us test, update, and keep practical guides available for everyone.Should I take away my child’s phone?
Not as an automatic response. Removing the phone can feel like punishment and can cut a child off from friends, supportive adults, transportation, or evidence. First ask what contact is unsafe and what settings would reduce it. Options may include muting notifications, leaving a group, changing privacy settings, blocking an account, or using a different device temporarily while preserving trusted communication.
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If a device must be restricted because of an immediate threat, explain that the change is a safety measure, not blame. Set a time to review it with your child and make sure they know how to reach you and emergency help.
When should I seek professional support?
UNICEF’s parent guidance recommends contacting a mental health professional or family doctor when emotional, psychological, or physical effects do not fade within a day or two. Seek help sooner if your child cannot sleep, eat, attend school, or function normally, or if distress is intensifying.
Respond to urgent warning signs
Ask directly and calmly whether your child feels unsafe, has thoughts of self-harm, or is worried someone will hurt them. Do not leave a child alone when there is an immediate risk. Contact emergency services or police in the child’s country, and follow the clinician’s or crisis service’s instructions. A professional can also help with anxiety, depression, trauma symptoms, sleep problems, and a plan for returning to school or activities.
How can our family reduce future risk?
Risk reduction works best as an ongoing conversation, not a one-time lecture or surveillance project.
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- Talk about respectful behavior, consent, privacy, and what to do when a message feels threatening or humiliating.
- Review privacy, tagging, messaging, location-sharing, and comment settings together.
- Stay aware of the apps, games, group chats, and accounts your child uses, including age changes and new features.
- Show your child how to block, report, and save evidence on the services they use.
- Agree on which trusted adults they can contact and how you will respond if they disclose a problem.
A government parent guide notes that some families may consider monitoring apps for screen-time management, website blocking, or content monitoring. Such tools are optional. Open conversation and trust remain important, and monitoring software is not a substitute for communication or a guarantee that harassment will be prevented.
Which response should come first?
Use the urgency and channel of the problem to choose the next step. More than one route may be appropriate.
| Situation | First action | Next channel |
|---|---|---|
| Immediate threat or danger | Move the child to safety and preserve the information without engaging the sender. | Emergency services or local police. |
| Threats, stalking, hate crime, privacy invasion, or sexual imagery involving a child | Save relevant details and avoid forwarding the material. | Law enforcement, alongside the platform’s report process. |
| Harassment by a classmate or conduct affecting school | Make a dated report with screenshots and the impact on the child. | School’s designated reporting contact and policy process. |
| Ongoing unwanted messages without immediate danger | Block the account after saving evidence and report it in the service. | Platform support, with a trusted adult involved. |
| Distress that continues for more than a day or two | Arrange an appointment and continue supportive check-ins. | Mental health professional or family doctor. |
What do the available figures show?
National Center for Justice Statistics data cited by StopBullying.gov reported that 9% of public schools said the school environment was affected by cyberbullying in the 2017–2018 school year, and 8% said staff resources were used to address it. These are school reports about that period, not a current estimate of how many children experience cyberbullying. They show why schools need a clear reporting process, but they do not predict what happened to your child or determine whether a particular incident meets a legal definition.
Quick Recap
Key points for a calm response
- Start with safety, belief, and listening.
- Document dates, times, context, accounts, witnesses, and effects before content disappears.
- Do not reply to or forward harmful messages; block and report through the service when appropriate.
- Involve the school when a classmate or school impact is involved, recognizing that policies and legal duties vary by location.
- Use law enforcement for threats, stalking, hate crimes, privacy violations, or sexual imagery involving children, following local guidance.
- Contact a health professional when effects persist beyond a day or two, and seek urgent local help when danger is immediate.
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