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Start with curiosity, not a warning: ask your teen what they use chatbots for and what feels helpful. Then ask what has felt confusing, uncomfortable, or too private to share. Chatbots can support learning and creativity, but their conversational tone does not make them people, reliable authorities, or confidential professionals. A calm, continuing conversation helps teens use them thoughtfully and know when to turn to a trusted person instead.
Start by asking what your teen uses chatbots for
Choose a relaxed moment rather than raising the subject only after a problem. Keep the first conversation open-ended and listen before setting rules. You might ask:
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- “What do you like using the chatbot for?”
- “What feels useful about it?”
- “Has it ever said something that felt wrong, confusing, or too personal?”
- “Is it helping you learn, or just helping you finish?”
These questions make room for both benefits and concerns. Your teen may use a chatbot to brainstorm, explain a school topic, or create a story; they may also have asked it for advice or shared something personal. Avoid assuming that every service works the same way: features, settings, age controls, and safeguards differ and can change.
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A chatbot can produce fluent, warm-sounding responses without understanding a situation as a trusted person would. It can be useful for ideas or explanations, but it may also give inaccurate, age-inappropriate, or unsafe answers. It is not a confidential professional, a dependable authority, or a replacement for a parent, caregiver, teacher, counselor, or qualified mental-health professional.
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Common Sense Media recommends supervised teen use for homework and creativity, while advising against using AI for comfort, friendship, feelings, or mental-health advice. Its concern is that a chatbot may miss warning signs, reinforce unhealthy thinking, or delay real help. This is the organization’s guidance, not a universal legal rule or a claim that every chatbot behaves identically. Common Sense Media’s age-stage guidance
UNICEF also recognizes possible learning and accessibility benefits while warning that conversational systems can create risks for children. Its policy materials describe principles such as safety, privacy, transparency, accountability, and age-appropriate design; they are guidance, not proof that a particular service meets those standards. UNICEF policy guidance on AI for children
Talk about privacy before personal details go into a chat
Privacy is partly a settings question and partly a habit of pausing. The exact information a service collects, how it handles conversations, and how long it retains data vary by provider. UNICEF’s teen guidance cautions that information given to a chatbot may be used, shared, and stored by its owner. Review the specific service’s current privacy notice and settings together rather than assuming controls on one chatbot apply to another. UNICEF’s guide for teens
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Agree on details to keep out of chats
Encourage your teen to pause before sharing anything they would not want stored, reviewed, or used by the service. Take particular care with:
- Full names, school, address, phone number, location, or daily routines.
- Health concerns, intimate details, or information that identifies friends and family.
- Private messages, identifying details, or images belonging to someone else without that person’s permission.
Explain that several small details can add up to identify someone or reveal sensitive information. A privacy setting can reduce some risks, but it is not a reason to share freely.
Check the service together
Look for the service’s privacy settings, age requirements, and current explanation of how it collects and handles account information and conversation content. Ask your teen what they think a setting does, then read the service’s wording together. If the policy is unclear, treat that uncertainty as a reason to share less—not as evidence that the information is private.
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Help your teen check answers instead of simply accepting them
For homework or creative work, focus on the teen’s thinking, not just whether AI was used. Common Sense Media suggests prompts that make understanding and independent work visible:
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- “Can you explain that answer in your own words?”
- “Where did you disagree with it?”
- “How did you check whether that answer was right?”
For factual claims, encourage checking a reliable source or asking a knowledgeable person. A polished answer is not proof that it is correct. If the teen cannot explain a response or say how they verified it, use that as a chance to work through the question together rather than treating the chatbot’s output as finished learning.
Set boundaries for emotional or serious questions
Ask what your teen would do if a chatbot gave advice about something serious. Agree that a chatbot is not the right place to rely on for mental-health concerns, urgent safety questions, or support with intense feelings. Encourage them to take those concerns to a trusted adult, school counselor, family member, or an age-appropriate mental-health professional.
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You can say: “You can tell me if you asked AI something personal. I won’t assume you did anything wrong; I want to help you work out what support you need.” If your teen describes immediate danger or serious distress, prioritize a trusted adult and appropriate human support. UNICEF warns that many chatbots are not set up to detect or respond safely to distress. UNICEF policy brief on AI and children
Independent reader supportYour contribution helps us test, update, and keep practical guides available for everyone.Notice changes and check in without turning them into a diagnosis
Some changes are reasons to ask how things are going, not proof that a chatbot has caused harm. UNICEF’s parent guidance identifies signs worth a gentle check-in:
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- Secrecy about use or increased anxiety.
- Turning to AI for emotional support instead of trusted people.
- Use that interferes with sleep, schoolwork, friendships, or hobbies.
Begin with an open question such as, “What do you like about using it, and is any part not working for you?” Listen to the answer, then agree on a simple boundary and a time to revisit it. A collaborative check-in is more likely to surface a concern than a surprise interrogation.
Put survey figures in context
Common Sense Media’s June 8, 2026 announcement of its first annual census reported responses from 1,204 children aged 9–17. In that surveyed group, 86% said they used AI, nearly a quarter said they used it every day, and more than four in ten said a parent or guardian had never talked with them about AI safety. The announcement also reported that more than half of children who used AI had sought health or body advice, and over one in three AI users had discussed feelings or personal problems with AI. These are findings from that survey, not universal estimates or evidence that chatbot use causes a particular outcome. Common Sense Media press releases
The same announcement said one in six children who had used AI chatbots had seen inappropriate material; of those, only one-third had told a trusted adult. That finding is a reason to make it easy for a teen to come to you without fear of immediate punishment. Common Sense Media press releases
Choose a tool and household rules around its actual use
There is no single best chatbot established by this guidance. If your family is deciding whether or how to use a particular service, discuss the practical questions that matter for your teen:
- Is the intended use learning or creativity, or emotional support and friendship?
- Is the service suitable for your teen’s age, and what supervision makes sense?
- What privacy settings and data practices does the service describe?
- How does it signal uncertainty or handle unsafe answers?
- Is use displacing sleep, school, relationships, or offline activities?
Policies and safeguards vary by service and may change, so revisit the specific service rather than treating a family rule as a permanent guarantee. The Federal Trade Commission’s 2025 inquiry sought information from seven consumer chatbot companies about child impacts, age restrictions, disclosures, and use or sharing of conversation data. It was an information-gathering inquiry, not a finding of wrongdoing. FTC announcement of its chatbot inquiry
Keep the conversation going
One conversation cannot cover every new feature, use, or concern. Revisit the subject when your teen starts using a new service, changes how they use one, or encounters an answer that worries them. Common Sense Media and Day of AI offer a free family AI-literacy toolkit with videos, conversation cards, and activities, including material on privacy, fairness, responsibility, and school use. Family AI-literacy resources from Common Sense Media and Day of AI
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