Start by asking what your child likes about the game and what they understand about its content. Then name the specific concern, explain your family’s rule, invite their response, and agree on practical boundaries. For a game with an ESRB rating, check the category, content descriptors, interactive elements, and rating summary; the rating is useful context, not a substitute for your judgment about your child.
How to start a conversation about a mature game
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Ask what draws them to it
Begin with curiosity rather than a verdict. Ask what they enjoy, who they play with, and what they know about the game’s content. ESRB recommends an open, non-judgmental conversation; older children can have more say in the discussion.
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Be specific about what concerns you
Refer to the actual material—such as violence, language, sexual content, or online interaction—instead of calling the game “bad.” If the game has an ESRB rating, its descriptors and rating summary can help you describe the concern accurately.
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Explain the reason and the boundary
Say what worries you and whether the rule is firm or may be reviewed later. The American Psychological Association’s 2017 fact sheet advises: “Explain to your children which shows and games they can or cannot watch and play and the reasons for that.”
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Make room for their response
Ask what they think, what they find confusing, and whether anything in the game or an interaction with another player has made them uncomfortable. The Federal Trade Commission (FTC) recommends talking with children about potentially harmful content and aggressive language or behavior from other players.
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Agree on what happens next
Set practical expectations together: whether the child may play the game, when and for how long, whether purchases are allowed, who they may communicate with, and what they should do if something uncomfortable happens. Use parental controls to support the rules you agree on.
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Revisit the decision
Rules can change as a child matures. Tell them when you will reconsider the decision and what you will take into account, rather than leaving the boundary unexplained or indefinite.
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How to decide whether a game is appropriate
In the United States, the Entertainment Software Rating Board (ESRB) provides a rating category, content descriptors, interactive elements, and a rating summary. Check the details that relate to your concern rather than relying on the letter or age category alone. The FTC also advises parents to consult ratings and reviews. ESRB’s rating information and lookup resources are available at ESRB ratings.
Common Sense Media reviews discuss violence, sex, language, and developmental appropriateness, while leaving the final decision to parents. Consider a review alongside the game’s own rating information and your knowledge of your child: Common Sense Media game reviews.
Two games with the same age category may contain different material. When comparing them, look at the content that matters to your family, each game’s rating summary, the child’s age and maturity, and whether online communication or purchases can be limited.
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ESRB’s “Mature 17+” category is intended for older audiences in the U.S. rating system. It is information for family decision-making, not a universal legal rule or a determination of what a parent must permit. Ratings do not assess an individual child’s sensitivities or family values.
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How age and family circumstances affect the decision
ESRB’s family guide offers broad age-based suggestions, not a developmental diagnosis. It describes supervised play as generally appropriate for children under five; individual accounts for ages 5–9; checking ratings and managing communication and purchases for ages 10–12; and open discussion with rules adjusted as maturity develops for ages 13–16. The guide says that at 17, a child is empowered to make decisions about content and online interactions. Use these suggestions as context, not as a replacement for your judgment about your household.
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When children of different ages share a home, separate accounts and signing older children out can reduce the chance that a younger sibling stumbles into older siblings’ games or content. ESRB also suggests headphones in shared spaces to limit younger children’s exposure to mature language, violence, or trash talk. Headphones reduce what others hear; they do not make a game suitable for a child who should not play it.
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Depending on the device, account, game, and service, parental controls may let you block games by rating, limit play time, restrict internet access or communication, and manage spending. Options vary, so check the current instructions for the specific platform or publisher; the FTC points parents to those instructions. ESRB provides parental-control information.
Controls can help carry out an agreed rule, but they do not replace conversation or parental involvement. ESRB’s parent brochure puts it this way: “Parental controls are a great tool, but no tool can replace an informed and involved parent.”
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If a game scares or confuses your child
Listen first. Ask what happened and what part felt scary, confusing, or upsetting, without dismissing the reaction or assuming it means the child should never play that type of game. The APA advises children to talk with a parent when media content scares, confuses, or frightens them; the FTC also recommends discussing potentially harmful material and aggressive behavior by other players.
Quick Recap
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