If another player is bullying you, sending unwanted messages, or asking for personal information, do not argue or keep the conversation going. Leave or pause the game, save useful evidence, mute or block the account, report the specific behavior wherever it occurred, and involve a trusted adult when a child is involved. Threats, stalking, hate crimes, or sexual material involving a child require escalation to appropriate authorities in your jurisdiction.
The exact menu names differ between games, consoles, social platforms, and chat apps. Use the service’s current help instructions for the final clicks; the sequence below remains useful even when an interface changes.
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What to do in the first minute
Your immediate goal is to end the contact without giving the other person more information or an emotional reaction.
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- Stop replying. Leave the match, pause play, close the message, or put the device down. Do not trade insults, threaten retaliation, or try to “win” an argument.
- Get support. If you are under 18, tell a parent, caregiver, teacher, counselor, or another trusted adult. If you are helping a child, listen first and avoid blaming them for replying, joining a server, or sharing something accidentally.
- Check for immediate danger. Ask whether the person made a credible threat, knows where the player lives or goes to school, demanded money, attempted to move the conversation elsewhere, or requested sexual images. Those details affect how quickly you should escalate.
- Protect the account. If you clicked a suspicious link, revealed a password, or shared a recovery code, change the password from the official app or website, enable multifactor authentication, and review active sessions.
The Federal Trade Commission (FTC) describes the problem as a child encountering “upsetting or inappropriate behavior from other players.” Its practical advice is to stop playing and talk with an adult rather than continuing the exchange.
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1. End the interaction and bring in a trusted adult
For the player
Use the least dramatic action that safely ends the contact: leave the lobby, switch to single-player mode, disable voice chat temporarily, or stop opening direct messages. You do not owe an explanation to someone who is harassing you. If the person is on your friends list, you can remove them after preserving evidence, provided doing so does not create additional risk.
For a parent or caregiver
Start with open questions: “What was said?”, “When did it happen?”, “Did they ask for information?”, and “Was anything shared?” Do not demand that the child prove they behaved perfectly before offering help. A calm response makes it more likely that the child will disclose later contact, threats, or an attempt to move to another service.
The FTC warns that a request to move a gaming conversation to another platform can be a sign that someone is trying to establish a personal connection. Encourage children to keep discussion about the game itself and not disclose their full name, address, school, routine, phone number, private social account, passwords, photographs, or other details that could be combined to identify them.
2. Preserve evidence without prolonging contact
Evidence is most useful when it shows what happened, where it happened, and when. Save it before blocking if that is safe and does not require more conversation.
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What to record
- Date and approximate time, including your time zone when relevant.
- The game, server, match, group, or chat service involved.
- The other account’s visible username, display name, user ID, profile URL, or other identifier.
- A short factual description of the behavior: repeated insults, sexual comments, threats, discriminatory slurs, requests for personal details, unwanted invitations, or attempts to follow the player across services.
- How often it happened and whether the conduct continued after you asked the person to stop or used a block or mute control.
How to save it
Take screenshots that include the account name, message, and surrounding context. Save relevant emails, text messages, voice-mail recordings where lawful, and in-game message histories. Keep original files in a private folder and make a backup that a trusted adult can access. Do not edit the only copy in a way that removes dates, usernames, or context.
Do not forward abusive messages to friends, repost them publicly, or bait the sender into producing more material. StopBullying.gov advises documenting and reporting the behavior so it can be addressed. Evidence should support a report, not spread the abuse.
3. Mute, block, and tighten privacy settings
Muting reduces what you see or hear; blocking prevents or limits direct contact; privacy settings reduce who can reach you in the first place. They serve different purposes and can be used together.
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|---|---|---|
| Mute | Hides or silences messages, voice, or notifications from an account without necessarily removing it from the session. | When you need to finish or leave a match without hearing more abuse. |
| Block | Stops or limits messages, friend requests, invitations, or other contact, depending on the service. | When contact is unwanted or continues after muting. |
| Privacy controls | Restrict who can chat, send friend requests, invite you, view activity, or see personal information. | After an incident, or preventively for a child’s account. |
| Report | Asks the game or platform to review a possible rule violation; it does not guarantee a suspension or other particular result. | Whenever the conduct violates the service’s rules or creates a safety concern. |
Settings worth reviewing
- Voice and text chat: turn them off, restrict them to friends, or require approval.
- Direct messages and whispers: disable them or limit them to known contacts.
- Friend requests, party invitations, follows, and group joins: restrict who can send or accept them.
- Profile visibility: hide location, school, age, real name, linked accounts, and activity status where the service allows it.
- Cross-platform communication: review linked accounts and third-party chat permissions.
- Parental controls: use an adult account to set communication limits, spending protections, and content filters where available.
Controls differ by game, device, edition, and age setting. eSafety guidance notes that options may include turning off chat, allowing communication only with friends, muting, blocking, and reporting. If a control is missing, check the service’s current safety or parental-control help page rather than relying on an old menu path.
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4. Report the specific behavior where it happened
Reporting and blocking are separate steps. Blocking protects the player immediately; reporting gives the service information to review. Use both when appropriate.
- Report inside the game. Open the player list, message, voice-chat record, profile, or content menu and choose the option for harassment, bullying, threats, hate speech, sexual content, or the closest accurate category.
- Include the incident, not just the person. Select the exact message, chat, match, item, or recording when the service supports that choice. A profile-only report may not show moderators what was said or done.
- Report on the platform. If the game runs through a console, app store, launcher, or account service with its own rules, use that service’s reporting route as well when the conduct occurred there.
- Report third-party contact separately. If the person continued in a separate messaging or voice-chat app, report the messages in that app too. Each service can review only the material within its systems.
- Attach concise evidence. Provide dates, account identifiers, screenshots, and a factual description. Avoid speculation about the person’s identity or motive.
Do not assume a report guarantees a ban, refund, removal, or police referral. Services apply their own rules and may limit what they disclose about an investigation. Keep the report confirmation or case number so you can refer to it if new incidents occur.
Example: reporting on Roblox
Roblox distinguishes violations that occur inside an experience from violations outside an experience. Its support guidance explains that reports can be made from chat, a private message, a profile, or the relevant experience or content. Report the specific chat, message, experience, or other material whenever possible; reporting only a profile may not give moderators enough context. Parents can also report or block a user from a child’s account through parental controls. Because Roblox changes its interface and communication settings, verify the current instructions in Roblox Support before giving a child a precise click-by-click path.
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Most rude messages can be handled with disengagement, blocking, privacy controls, and an in-service report. Some conduct presents a broader safety or legal risk.
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Contact emergency services immediately when
- Someone appears to be in immediate danger.
- A message contains a credible, specific threat of violence and indicates that harm may be imminent.
- The person is attempting to locate the player in the real world or is actively stalking them.
Use the emergency number and law-enforcement route for your country or region. Preserve the original messages and tell responders where the evidence is stored.
Contact law enforcement or another appropriate authority for serious conduct
StopBullying.gov advises contacting law enforcement for threats of violence, stalking, hate crimes, or sexually explicit material involving a child. That is U.S. federal guidance; legal definitions and reporting routes are not universal. Outside the United States, use local police, child-protection, cyber-safety regulator, or emergency resources. The Australian eSafety Commissioner, for example, provides separate routes for serious cyberbullying and adult cyber abuse.
Do not investigate the sender yourself, arrange an in-person meeting, or publish identifying information. If sexual material involving a child is present, do not download, copy, or redistribute it. Preserve only what is necessary and follow the instructions of the relevant authority.
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6. Handle common unwanted-contact scenarios
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Stop answering, save the new account identifiers, and update privacy settings so only approved friends can contact or invite you. Report the repeated evasion as one pattern, listing each account and the dates. Tell a trusted adult if the contact crosses games or services.
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The person asks for your name, location, photos, or a secret
Decline, end the conversation, block the account, and tell an adult. Seemingly harmless details can combine to identify a child. If any information was shared, explain exactly what was disclosed so the adult can help secure accounts and decide whether further reporting is needed.
The person threatens to expose private information
Do not pay, bargain, or send more material. Preserve the threat, block the account if safe, report it to each service involved, and seek adult or law-enforcement help. If passwords or recovery details may be exposed, change them from a trusted device and enable multifactor authentication.
The abuse happens in voice chat
Use the game’s mute and report controls, note the time and participants, and preserve any available clip or moderation record. If the service does not retain voice evidence, write a contemporaneous description and identify witnesses without encouraging them to confront the speaker.
7. A caregiver’s practical checklist
- Listen without blaming or promising a specific platform outcome.
- Write down dates, services, usernames, and what the child says happened.
- Save screenshots and messages before blocking when safe.
- Review chat, direct-message, friend-request, invitation, profile, and linked-account settings together.
- Use the game’s report tool and any separate platform or chat-app report route.
- Change credentials and enable multifactor authentication if account details were exposed.
- Watch for continued contact, fear of playing, sleep problems, withdrawal, or pressure to keep secrets.
- Escalate threats, stalking, hate crimes, or sexual material involving a child through local authorities.
Keep the child involved in decisions that affect their account where possible. Removing every game without explaining the safety plan can make a child less likely to report the next incident. Focus on restoring control: trusted contacts, predictable settings, and a clear way to ask for help.
8. What not to do
- Do not retaliate, threaten the sender, or organize friends to attack their account.
- Do not forward abusive content or post it publicly for entertainment or “proof.”
- Do not rely on a single profile report when the service lets you report the exact message or content.
- Do not assume a mute action also blocks invitations, friend requests, or contact on another platform.
- Do not promise a child that a report will definitely result in a ban or that authorities will identify the sender.
- Do not use an old screenshot of a menu as if it were the current procedure; interfaces and parental controls change.
9. After you report
Save the confirmation number, note the date, and watch for new contact without engaging. If the behavior continues, submit an update that references the earlier case and adds the new evidence. If the service offers an appeal or safety-support channel, use it when the first report was misunderstood or the risk has increased.
Review privacy settings again after major game updates, device changes, or a switch from child to teen account settings. A block on one service does not automatically apply to another. Keep local emergency, child-protection, or cyber-safety contacts available if the situation escalates.
Which response fits the situation?
| Situation | First action | Additional action |
|---|---|---|
| Insults or disruptive chat during a match | Leave or mute the session. | Report the specific chat if it violates the game’s rules. |
| Repeated direct messages or invitations | Save the messages, then block the account. | Restrict direct messages, friend requests, and invitations; report the pattern. |
| Requests for personal information or an off-platform conversation | End the conversation and tell a trusted adult. | Block and report; secure any information or account credentials that were shared. |
| Threats, stalking, hate crimes, or sexual material involving a child | Preserve evidence and involve a trusted adult immediately. | Contact local emergency services, law enforcement, child protection, or the relevant regulator according to your jurisdiction. |
The safest sequence is consistent: disengage, document, reduce contact, report the exact conduct, and escalate serious risks. Platform rules and legal routes vary, but you can take those steps without debating the harasser or waiting for the situation to get worse.
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