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1Fix the driver behind crashes, sound loss and screen glitches2Clear out junk files and repair common Windows errors3Scan for outdated or missing drivers - takes under a minuteOlder adults’ reflections often touch relationships, missed opportunities, education, difficult decisions, health and financial preparation. But no study establishes a definitive set of 19 regrets specifically from people’s twenties and thirties. The list below is a practical synthesis of recurring themes and illustrative possibilities—not a ranking or a claim that everyone will regret the same choices.
Retrospective research has asked people to recall regrets across their lives, not just those two decades. In a random probability sample of 3,917 people aged 40–85 in Germany and the Netherlands, common themes included mistakes and bad decisions, difficult times, social relationships and missed educational opportunities; 14% did not spontaneously recall a regret. A separate study of adults aged 79–98 found regrets about things not done, bereavement and health. The findings vary by population and do not make regret universal.
Relationships and time with loved ones
These possibilities reflect the importance of social relationships in retrospective accounts. They are not claims that every relationship should be preserved or that loss can always be prevented.
1. Letting important friendships fade without trying to reconnect
Work, moves and changing routines can make contact less frequent. Some people may later wish they had made a small, consistent effort to stay connected. Reaching out is an option, not an obligation to revive relationships that are harmful or no longer fit.
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2. Taking a partner or close family member for granted
When someone is reliably present, it can be easy to assume there will always be time to listen, express appreciation or make plans together. A more deliberate conversation or shared moment may matter more than a grand gesture.
3. Avoiding difficult conversations
Putting off a necessary conversation can leave hurt or misunderstanding unaddressed. That does not mean every conflict can be resolved, but speaking honestly and respectfully may give both people a clearer choice about what comes next.
4. Spending too little time with people who matter
Busy years can crowd out visits, calls and ordinary time together. For some, a later regret may be less about one dramatic event than about not making room for connection while it was possible.
5. Treating bereavement as a preventable personal failure
Some very old adults in one study reported regret connected with the death of a loved one. Grief can bring thoughts about what was left unsaid or undone, but a death is not proof that someone failed. No amount of planning can remove every loss.
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Missed opportunities and education
Regret about things not done appears in research on very old adults, and missed educational opportunities were among the broad themes in a German-Dutch study. That evidence supports taking omissions seriously, not pursuing every opportunity regardless of cost or circumstance.
6. Not pursuing a meaningful interest
A creative, intellectual or practical interest can be set aside because it seems impractical or because there is no obvious path to success. A later perspective may prompt someone to wish they had explored it in a small, realistic way.
7. Passing up education or training that could have opened options
Some people may look back and wish they had taken a course, earned a qualification or learned a useful skill. Finances, caregiving, health and access can limit choices, so this is not a reason to blame yourself for constraints you faced.
8. Waiting for confidence before trying something new
Confidence often develops through practice rather than arriving beforehand. Someone might regret not applying, auditioning, volunteering or attempting a project because they assumed they had to feel fully ready first.
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9. Letting fear of failure decide in advance
Not every risk is worth taking, especially when other people’s safety or financial stability is involved. But avoiding every uncertain step can close off experiences that might have been worthwhile even without a perfect outcome.
10. Measuring success only by other people’s expectations
A career, lifestyle or achievement can look impressive from the outside and still feel poorly matched to the person living it. A useful question is whether a goal reflects your own priorities or mainly the approval you hope to receive.
Choices, work and difficult periods
Retrospective accounts include mistakes, behavior, bad decisions and hard times. These categories can overlap, but not every difficult outcome is a bad choice: circumstances, chance and other people’s actions also shape a life.
11. Staying too long in work that consistently conflicts with your needs
This is an illustrative possibility, not a finding isolated by the cited studies. Some people may wish they had explored a different role or workplace sooner. Others stay for sound reasons, such as income, benefits, location or family responsibilities.
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12. Ignoring signs of burnout or persistent dissatisfaction
It may be tempting to treat exhaustion as something to push through indefinitely. Looking back, some people might wish they had asked for support, adjusted expectations or considered a change earlier. The right response depends on health, resources and available alternatives.
13. Making a consequential decision without enough reflection
Some decisions are made quickly under pressure; others are delayed until circumstances choose for us. A pause to identify trade-offs, seek advice and consider what matters can help, though no process guarantees a regret-free outcome.
14. Staying silent when setting a boundary was needed
Agreeing to demands that exceed your limits can build resentment or strain. A clear boundary may protect time, energy or safety, while still allowing for flexibility and care for people who depend on you.
15. Judging a whole life by a hard season
Illness, job loss, caregiving and other difficult events can shape how a period is remembered. A hardship is not necessarily evidence of a mistake, and it may be unfair to judge a past self using information or resources available only later.
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Health and financial preparation
Health problems appeared in a study of adults aged 79–98, but an association between more frequent regret and poorer health or life satisfaction in that sample does not show that regret caused poorer health. Retirement preparation is a more specific subject: in a July 2026 report about surveyed current U.S. retirees, the TIAA Institute said many wished they had saved earlier or planned more clearly. Those figures describe that report’s respondents, not all older adults.
16. Treating health as something to address only later
Someone may wish they had paid attention earlier to symptoms, preventive care or habits they could realistically change. Health is also shaped by factors outside individual control; this reflection should not become blame for illness.
17. Putting off saving for retirement
The TIAA Institute reported that 76% of the current retirees surveyed regretted not starting to save earlier. The report does not make that percentage representative of every older adult, and people’s ability to save depends on income, costs and circumstances.
18. Saving less than they wished they had
In the same 2026 TIAA Institute report, 71% of surveyed current retirees wished they had saved more. This points to a common concern among those respondents, not a universal measure of what any individual should have saved.
19. Leaving retirement and later-life plans vague
The TIAA Institute reported that 47% of its surveyed current retirees regretted not having clear retirement goals. Separately, 49% regretted underestimating health and long-term-care costs, and 49% regretted not planning for later-life events such as health issues, career shifts, job loss and caregiving. These are distinct reported regrets, and neither figure predicts an individual’s future needs.
How to use these reflections without turning them into a scorecard
- Separate choices from circumstances. A missed opportunity you could revisit is different from bereavement, illness or a constraint you could not control.
- Notice what is actionable now. A regret can point toward a conversation, a checkup, a learning goal or a financial planning step; it need not dictate a dramatic change.
- Make room for mixed feelings. A 2019 study of adults aged 18–92 treated positive and negative feelings related to regret as separate dimensions. Its findings support nuance, not the claim that age simply erases regret.
- Choose according to your circumstances. A list of possible regrets is not a checklist everyone must complete. The relevant question is what matters to you, given your resources, responsibilities and health.
For a broader collection of older adults’ perspectives, Karl Pillemer’s 30 Lessons for Living by Karl Pillemer draws on interviews with more than 1,000 older Americans. It offers life lessons, not evidence for a fixed set of 19 regrets.
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